we're blogging at a bar
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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