my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
