I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
