I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
