I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
