Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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