i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
