ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
