I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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