Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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