You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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