sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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