Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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