You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
