he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
