Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
