do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
