Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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