At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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