No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
