She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
