It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
