none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
