I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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