I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
