So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
