Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
