Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
