I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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