called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
