The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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