Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
