Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I met the friendliest cop last night
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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