I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
