woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
