She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
