xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
