theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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