Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
