I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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