These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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