Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
