They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am never drinking with the goths again.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
