If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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