i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
3pm strippers are depressing
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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