Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So squirting runs in the family.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize