Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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