If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Houston, we have a blender
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
