I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
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he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
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We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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