While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
