What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
