Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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