Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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