i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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