Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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