The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
