Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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