Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
