I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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