I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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