He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
