Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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