South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
