Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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