There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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