So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
