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God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
