...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My vagina is officially offended.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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