I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
