Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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