...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
